July 12th Strumpshaw Fen

Grey Heron

I feel like a bird with it's wings clipped, like an immortal being turned mortal. My autistic demon inside my brain has been stirring as anger, worry, confusion and despair clouds my thoughts today. The fear of leaving Strumpshaw for a job hurts me as I have learned that my ties with my benefit money will be cut in less than a few weeks time. This was an important lifeline for me ever since I was diagnosed as autistic when I was eight years old. My life has been turned upside down. An appeal will be made, but it was still hard to keep my mind off of what's happening. Seeing Strumpshaw's wildlife this morning has calmed me a little bit at least.


Cormorant





Coots




Wolf Spider with babies

Blue-tailed Damselfly



Shoveler

It was a hectic journey to get to Strumpshaw as last night's heavy rain has caused flooding on some roads, while traffic jams made it hard to get out of the city with a delay of three quarters of an hour. When I finally got to the reserve, the sun was peeping through the rain clouds with blue skies seeping out between them. A blustery wind swept across the reed beds, continuously swaying them back and forth. The broad was surprisingly still enough for reflections to form on the surface. The ducks were looking drab as they moult into their eclipse phase, unrecognizable to their breeding plumages. Marsh harriers were busy dropping food down to the talons of one of their demanding youngsters. I also saw herons, cormorants, a little egret, a couple of house martins and swallows and a sparrowhawk flying away with prey in one talon.



Mallards

Stock Dove



Purple Loosestrife

Coot



Little Egret



Kingfisher

A kingfisher made a few appearances throughout the morning, posing for a few minutes at a time on the white measuring post. It plunges into the water. Electric blue broken up by the colour of the reflective surface that envelopes it for a second. Emerging a moment later as vibrant as ever, like a butterfly leaving it's chrysalis, all fresh and new. A metaphor perhaps to how I should view this sudden change in my life? Though I still feel like it is going to be a long time for my autistic mind to adjust to this new situation that I am in.